I talked to dayne today.
I'm really sad and disappointed in myself.
So naturally I feel unimportant and unloved in every sense of it, although Tina did agree to make babies with me in the changing room in a store in the mall *shrugs* I love that gurrrl she makes me laugh!
Who would've know that the happiest part of my single life would've been captured in a 6:07 song played in a place that terrifies me standing next to the person who I really cared for, saying everything I was thinking and making me tear silently, and come to figure out, months down the line,..........the song was not about Jesus, and that is truly was about that night, that moment, that time. When I was happy. That was the most honest point, the point where what ever you said would be forgiven, the point where I could do nothing wrong...except what I did. Kept silent.
I really fucked up with him, now I will never get him, never be where I was with him, he is still with that wretched girl, not going to go to sickles any longer, and the only way I will see him is to be honest with myself, give up Sunday nights. And be terrified that what I would be hearing is true and that I am a complete fuck up.
i had a bowl of kashi cereal (its like rabbit food but better) and recently half of this wrap thing...i feel worthless. and i feel like i'm withering away, i need to eat something but i'm not hungry, i need to lose weight, i keep losing inches b/c i'm building muscle so w/e thats fine. i'm happy with it. i just want someone that will fucking accept me. w/e school starts in a week, i need to go shopping, tina and i are doing it together i believe, yeha i think so. i don't have tomorrow off anymore. fuck i needed that day off.
so yeah, so how was your day today